Family Searches for Sister

Family Searches for Sister

By Melissa Chasteen

After two failed attempts at in vitro fertilization in 2001, Maryann DeSimone and her husband Robert had given up all hope of becoming parents. At that point in their lives they were against adoption, so they thought they would find happiness in their lives through material possessions such as a new boat or more vacations.

Little did they know their lives would soon be changing dramatically. While the DeSimone’s dreams of parenthood were diminishing, three girls from Ukraine, Katie, 9; Darya, 7; and Irina, 6, were in dire need of a family. The girls’ mother died in childbirth and the stress proved too strong for their father, leading him to a life of alcoholism and the girls being placed into an orphanage. With one more attempt at parenthood, the DeSimones signed up with an adoption agency and one year later received an E-mail about the three girls.

The adoption process started in 2003 with many setbacks along the way. In order for the adoption paperwork to get filled out, everyone in Ukraine that was involved in the adoption—clerks, notaries, police officers—had to be bribed before they did anything. Also, the girls’ aunt and uncle, who had nothing to do with them beforehand, showed up to delay the process even more. Fed up with the bribes and setbacks, the DeSimones had considered stopping the adoption process, but instead battled on, with the adoption being finalized in early 2005.

Not long after the girls settled down in their new home in Huntington, N.Y., Darya pleaded with her new parents that they find their youngest sister, Vera. Darya said, “When Mommy went to heaven, Vera never came home.” The DeSimones immediately starting searching for the child, fearing that she may have been sold on the black market. They are continually working with officials in Ukraine, consequently paying more bribes and incentives. Though they’re faced with more setbacks than before, the DeSimones said they refuse to give up looking and will continue to share their story.

In Spencer Johnson’s “Who Moved My Cheese,” two mice and two little people are faced with change when their cheese disappears. The DeSimones’ journey is a prime example of having your cheese moved. Instead of giving up hope of having children, they searched and ultimately changed their lives in order to provide for their new family. They can be compared to the two mice, Sniff and Scurry, because of their commitment to “finding the cheese” and doing whatever it takes to get it. Even more so, the three girls—who before coming to America had never eaten a banana, nor used or even seen toilet paper—had to change their lives dramatically, learning a new language and adjusting to life in a new country and new family.

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